Epiphany

12x12 Oil

A poet and a book have me rethinking my naive and uninformed urgency to find a “style.”

The poet, a long-time friend in Honolulu, recently sent me a note in response to one of my posts. She wrote: “Would finding ‘your’ style, one that identifies a painting by you and with which you identify, represent a kind of arrival for you? Fewer doubts and fears then, certainly, but maybe fewer possibilities and discoveries?”

There is wisdom in that point … would working within the boundaries of a particular style limit my artistic growth? “

Style is a noun,” she goes on. “Painting, as you describe it, is a process, a verb. Which has more breath in it?”Indeed.

Was it the style of the finished work, or the process of making the work that brought me the most satisfaction, and the most joy?

So, okay, the wisdom of poets wins again.

On yesterday's power walk, this point was pasted on my forehead by a book. I’m telling you, it’s amazing what great thoughts and ideas you get when out walking. Under the Blood-Red Sun is my most successful novel, in print for twenty-five years now. Yet but for one crucial decision, that book may never have seen the light of day

.I spent three years researching and writing it. When I thought I’d nailed it, I sent the manuscript to my editor, three years and 300 pages of hard work. Two weeks later, my editor gave me a call. “This book has no heartbeat; try again.”

Say what?“

It’s not alive. It doesn't resonate.

”But … but … how could I possibly get excited about writing that book all over again? And anyway, how does a book have a heartbeat?

At that point I had a difficult decision to make — try again, or move on to something new. Argh!

It was not easy, but I decided to trust my editor. I started again at page one. To make it interesting to me, I changed my viewpoint character. In essence I became that new character and started writing from his point of view.

Amazingly, the new story flowed out through my fingers with its heartbeat thumping from word one.

Why?

Because my new viewpoint character was more like me as a person. I fully understood him, whereas with the first viewpoint character, I was an outsider looking in. That experience taught me a powerful lesson about the heart in art. The story found its heartbeat because its heartbeat was my heartbeat. In doing the work, I just became myself.

The epiphany: the surest way to success, individuality and style in writing and in painting is simple: Just do the work and be yourself. Just dang be yourself.

Your style is who you are.

Thank you poets. Thank you editors. Thank you constructive critics everywhere. I will always welcome you into my world.