Be Beautiful

8x10 oil

One thing I learned early on in my life is that when I am dealing with a troubling issue, or trying to make a difficult decision, or even trying to figure out how to structure a novel or compose a painting, the surest way of finding my best solution is to listen to my gut. For me, this most often means breaking away from my usual environment. And the best way to do that is to go for a drive in the country, by myself, with no radio and no audiobook for company.

It’s amazing how getting out of town clears my head. I can drive for hours in total silence. Exterior silence, that is, because in my head there is a constant flow of ideas, assessments, judgments and solutions. There’s also a lot of brainless blather, often called monkey mind. But I don’t mind that so much. I can’t control it, anyway.

A couple of week ago, my gut told me it was time to take a break and get out of town. I’d been wallowing in a kind of sadness over all the meanness going on in the world around me. So I got in my car and spent the next five hours driving through the most stunning country I’d seen in many, many months, the wine country of the Willamette Valley here in Oregon, right in my own backyard.

When I came across this sunlit pasture, I pulled over and gaped at it, surprised by the immense sense of gratitude that suddenly enveloped me. All the meanness that had gotten me down immediately vanished. Poof! Gone. Remember this, my gut reminded me in those rather seminal moments, the world you inhabit is inside your head. It’s nowhere else. And you’re in charge.

Gandhi once called upon us to be the change we wished to see in the world. Be the peace. Be the acceptance. Be the friend, the mediator, the mentor. Be beautiful.

I drove home slowly that day, not wanting any of it to end, especially the overwhelming feeling of gratefulness I felt looking out over that vibrantly green pasture. This is one of the reasons I paint, I thought. And write. To try on a little beauty. When I’m beautiful I can forgive myself for my weaknesses and failings, and I can forgive those who for now feel they need to be mean. My gut is way more enlightened than I am. It’s constantly reminding me that I am in charge. That I am what I think about all the time. It’s telling me I don’t have to dwell on the negative pieces of life. It’s telling me to be beautiful.

I’m trying.